


Delayed

by Ultimatum



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Illustrated, M/M, Pesterlog, damn homosexuals smh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-11 13:58:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2070924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultimatum/pseuds/Ultimatum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You think you know him. After all, not many people wear such stupid shades in public. Ben Stiller? Lame.</p><p>(for the anon who dropped this in my box: waiting in the airport and flight gets delayed "How hey, I think I've seen you in one of my classes at uni?" Au)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> and by illustrated i mean totally shitty scribbles but idk they add something to it sooooooo.  
> enjoy!

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=iejak1)

_"Attention American Eagle flyers, flight 3489 with service to Seattle has been delayed. It looks like it will be arriving at about eleven. We're sorry for the inconvenience." ___

__You groan and slide in your chair so your butt is practically off the plastic. As if things could get any worse! It's barely five-thirty, and due to the horrible weather (seriously, has it ever even _stormed _in California before?) your flight has been delayed... again. For the third time, actually. You slip your phone out of your pocket and text your dad to inform him that you won't even be flying until later.___ _

____Your name is John Egbert, and you're about to see your father again for the first time in what feels like forever. You're finally getting a break from university life, and you couldn't be happier. Before tomorrow, you'll be baking Christmas cookies with your dad and sitting by a nice warm fire (in a house with an _actual _working heater, halle-fucking-lujah). Even though it's only been about five months since you last saw him, you feel incredibly homesick. As a teenager you wanted to grow up and move away, and you did, but now all you want is to move back to a house where you don't have to pay rent. Oh the good old days.___ _ _ _

______Regardless, you sit in the Bob Hope airport with limited food money and a small carry-on case, eager for the rain to die down so you can actually board your goddamned flight. Right as you begin contemplating actually getting off your ass to _get _some food, the person next to you (whom you haven't even noticed until now) sighs loudly. "Dammit."___ _ _ _ _ _

________"Huh?" Your head turns so fast you feel like you're going to get whiplash, and you think that maybe he wasn't talking to you. But when you see that his head is angled your way after all, you ask, "Oh, you were talking to me? Sorry, I didn't catch what you said."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Man this fuckin' sucks, huh?" a small crooked grin makes its way on his face, and it looks more like a smirk than anything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Totally," and you find that you're sighing too. "I just want to get home as soon as fucking possible, you know?"_ [](http://tinypic.com?ref=13zn9yc) _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Can't say that I do," he replies easily, but there's an edge to his voice that makes you think that maybe his words weigh more on himself than they do to you. "To be honest, I just want to get some real food that doesn't cost a fortune. Not everyone can spend a shitton of money left and right."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"True that," you say, tilting your head back to stare at the ceiling. "I'm so hungry I think I could eat a horse. And maybe a few people, too. In fact, I'm pretty sure I could eat everyone in here, cannibalism be damned."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"That's pretty hungry, beaver boy." He shoots another one of those cocky grins that makes you want to punch him in the face (and granted, you almost do). You think that maybe he can tell how disgusted you look, because he raises his hands in surrender and scoffs. "Hey man, sorry. Didn't know that was a sore spot."

"Anyway," you roll your eyes. "My name's John."

"I know," he says, and you must look confused because he lets out a small breath of laughter and elaborates, "I'm pretty sure you're in one of my classes. You _do _go to UC right?"__

__"Uh yes?" And you take in his appearance further, his tacky shades, his red hoodie, the dumb fucking headphones around his neck and something clicks in your mind. You jab your finger in his direction repeatedly. "I know you! You're that asshole that plays guitar in the hallway. You dick, you kept me awake the night before midterms!"_ _

__"Glad to meet a fan." He does that dumb quirked smile that isn't quite a smile or a smirk again, and says, "It's Dave, by the way. Dave Strider."_ _

__"Egbert," you supply back, and he snorts at you. _Snorts _. What a flipping bastard.___ _

____"Wow. You have buck teeth _and _your last name is Egbert? Remind me to be extra nice to you, you deserve the kindness, you poor soul. What, do your parents hate you or something?"___ _ _ _

______You gasp, mortified, and nearly sock him in the nose. "Shut up asswipe," before you can add anything else to your angry tangent, your stomach growls promptly, loud and gurgling. "Fucking Christ."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Calm down boy, I don't taste good."_ _ _ _ _ _

______You glare at him, and he snickers. What an immature dick._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Hey, how much cash you got?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Five bucks," you promptly pat the pocket you stuffed your money in. You aren't particularly curious as to why he's asking, but you humor him anyway._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I have a twenty, how about I treat you to some Panda? Consider it an apology for all of the times I chose to inconveniently play guitar in the dorm hall. My roommate is a bigger dick than me and doesn't let me play in there so-"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Jeez, stop rambling Dave. I heard free food, I'm totally in."_ _ _ _ _ _

You stand and pat down your clothes, grabbing your small backpack to take with you. "Man, for such a cool looking guy, you sure are a huge dork."

With a dramatic hand to his chest, Dave looks at you blankly. "Bro, way to wound a fella. Seriously, I think I might need you to call an ambulance, that burn was monumental."

You roll your eyes and turn on your heels, simply assuming that Dave is following you. Hitching your backpack strap further up your shoulder, you begin to walk over to the food area by your gate number. You thank god that you don't have to walk far to get to Panda Express, your stomach feels hollow as fuck and you really want some food right now. 

Dave is by your side, and he's talking incessantly, and frankly, it's pretty annoying. You tune him out in favor of thinking about your dad, and how great it will be to see him again. Something occurs to you, and you turn to Dave quickly. "Hey, are you on the same flight as I am?"

"Why else would I share your undying pain? Were you not paying attention when I courted you with condolence food and sympathized with the fact that the flight was delayed? Think before you ask stupid questions, dickmunch." You know he's joking, so you snort. What a dweeb.

"Hey, I thought the food was an apology for your dumb guitar shit!"

"I lied." Dave looks down at you with an actual grin this time, and you beam back at him and bump into his shoulder with yours. Your head only comes up to his chin, which is surprising, since you're actually pretty tall, so you guesstimate that he's around 6'5".

"So, anyway, what're you going to Seattle for? I mean, if it's too personal that's fine, but I'm curious."

Dave's eyebrows scrunch up, and he looks somewhat repulsed. "Nah, it's no biggie. Just visiting my bro for the holidays."

"Oh. Uh, cool?"

"No," he says blatantly. "Not cool. He's a fucking puppet-loving fetish-y creep."

You laugh at that, and raise your hand to cover your mouth because you just _hate _your laugh and oh. There you go with the snorting. When you regain your breath you tell him you're sorry that he has to deal with that, and he just shrugs and says "he's family" as if that stands alone as a self evident fact.__

__You suppose that it does._ _

__Both of you arrive at the court with no incident, and you search around until you spot the sweet haven of imitated Chinese food that is Panda Express._ _

When you both settle down, he raises an eyebrow that you can barely see creep up over the edge of his glasses. "So, what are you going to Washington for? Christmas with the family?"

"My dad," you clarify. "I'm going to spend Christmas with my dad." And you smile a bit at him, because wow, you love your dad. A lot. He's been there for you since you were a kid. Since you were adopted, actually. But... You'd rather not think about that right now, so you force the thought out before you can dwell more on the topic. Adoption stories, they're never fun to remember. 

"That's chill. So, you glad to be out of university for a few weeks?"

"Fuck yes," you hiss. "I am so done with midterms, you don't even know."

"I've had enough testing to last me a lifetime."

You make a small hum of agreement and dig into your food with a new-found vigor, and the both of you cease talking in favor of scarfing down your meals. When you do start speaking again, you lean back in your chair. "So what're you majoring in?"

"Currently?"

You nod.

"Well shit, I'm not really... I do photography, if that counts. But I'm majoring in the fine arts. Not as interesting as it sounds, trust me." He jabs a piece of chicken with his plastic fork, puts it in his mouth, and proceeds to talk with his mouth full. "What about you, beaver boy?"

"I _told _you not to call me that, ass for brains." You roll your eyes and yawn. Man, sitting around all day waiting sure has made you exhausted. "I'm working for biology."__

__"A fancy biologist you say? Color me surprised."_ _

"Surprised?"

"Surprised." With that, he takes a long, annoying sip from his soda. His sentiment confuses you, but it's too much of a bother to ask. Really, you're exhausted, and even this simple conversation feels like it's doing you in. Maybe he notices, because you see that eyebrow again, slowly creeping up over his shades. "You look like you're about to pass out."

"Brilliant deduction, Sherlock. I've had a long day."

Dave raises his soda, "I can drink to that, my friend." 

He eats the last few pieces of his orange chicken and jumps back to your previous topic. "Really? A biologist?"

"Uh, yes? What's wrong with being a biologist?"

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=29470xl)

He shakes his head slowly. "Nah man, I meant is as a compliment. I don't think I have enough drive to do something that vigorous."

Once you realize that he's not trying to attack you, nor is he trying to make fun of your course, you relax in your chair again. You're pretty sure you look like hell, because you feel like it too. Your hair feels like it's going in all directions, and you're pretty sure you smell kind of bad too. Really, all this airport has done for you is make you a huge, tired mess. "Fuck, I agree. The classes are hard as hell and the professors are evil. Just because I took a few screws out of their chairs and put pie traps in their drawers I'm suddenly the bad guy!"

"Pie traps?" He laughs, and you love the sound of it (you don't quite know why). "How original."

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=11hwggz)

"Well fuck you too," you say after a beat of silence. "Pie traps are hilarious and a _classic _prank."__

__"What other shit do you classify as classic? Hand buzzers? Buckets of water perched on doors?"_ _

You give him another well meaning glare and he laughs again, "Holy shit, that's amazing." And although it's laced with sarcasm, you know he means no malice by the comment, so you let it slide.

"What about you, cool kid? You have any hobbies?"

"Like I said, I do photography. But my shit's not very good. Amateurish, really. I also mix my own music but," he shrugs, "I dunno. I do a lot of crap."

"You must be better than you say you are if you got into _Berkeley _," you insist, moving forward and putting your elbows on the table to support your head. "I mean, amateurs don't get into university."__

__"Point," he says. "But I suppose an artist's worst enemy is theirself."_ Before you can respond, there's someone talking over the loudspeakers. _

_Attention all Bob Hope Flyers, flight 3489 with service to Seattle is ready to board earlier than expected. Repeat, flight 3489 at gate 35 is ready to board _.__

____

You sigh and stand up, cracking your back in the process. Dave grabs all of your garbage and leaves to go throw it away while you make sure you've picked up all of your stuff. When he comes back, he slings his own backpack over his shoulder and the both of you make your way back to the gate.

"Hey, let me see your ticket." 

You make a small humming noise and dig it out of your pocket, and when you hand it over, he makes a disappointed sound in the back of his throat. "Well, I'm only a row behind you, so at least i can kick your seat the whole flight."

"You wouldn't _dare _."__

__"Oh I _would _dare."___ _

____You roll your eyes and take your ticket back. Your phone vibrates in your pocket, and you take it out to see that your dad had messaged you._ _ _ _

____ SON, HAVE A SAFE TRIP. I HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON. _ _ _ _

You smile and type back a quick i will dad! love you and slip your phone back into your pants pocket. 

Dave must have noticed your grin because he snorts. "Who was that, your _girlfriend _?" He says it in the same way fifth graders do, in that mocking yet sort of disgusted joking way, and you laugh.__

__"My _girlfriend _? Please, I don't have a girlfriend. That was my dad."___ _

Dave waggles his eyebrows. "So you don't have a girlfriend? What a shame, a hot guy like you should be positively _drowning _in the ladies."  
They way he says it isn't completely sarcastic, but you're not sure to make of it, so you sort of just... Ignore the tone of his voice and bump your shoulder to his again, giving a snort.__

__You've both arrived at the gate and get into the same line near the front._ _

__"Me? Hot? Are you blind or something? Do you need those glasses because you lack proper eyesight?"_ _

__"Totally dude. I'm all hells of blind, the only reason I'm complimenting you is because I can see how deeply your soul is wounded from being so ass-intense ugly."_ _

__"Wow, thanks Dave. I'm feeling the love."_ _

__"Hella, feel my love. Feel it as it rains from the heavens like a gift from the gods."_ _

__You nudge him with your foot to make him move with the line. "Whatever you say cool kid, whatever you say."_ _

__Boarding the plane goes on without incident, and you (as Dave had said) are sitting in the seat in front of the most annoying man alive. You swear you're about to cut Dave's head of with your own front teeth! Throughout the flight, which thank _god _is only a few hours, he keeps 'accidentally' kicking your chair, and every once in a while, he'll lean forward so his head is in the crack between the seats, and he'll say something absolutely ridiculous in a murmur only you can hear.___ _

____"Do you think flowers have feelings?"_ _ _ _

____The flight feels like it goes on forever._ _ _ _

____\---------------_ _ _ _

____And, regardless, you don't want to part from Dave. You both stand up when the plane comes to a complete stop, and you're so shaken from all of the turbulence during the trip that your legs are rattling like crazy. Dave taps your shoulder from behind you and looks at you expectantly with his phone in his hands._ _ _ _

____"What?"_ _ _ _

____"Your chumhandle, John."_ _ _ _

____You blink, slowly realizing what he wants. "Oooh. It's ectoBiologist. Why?"_ _ _ _

____"Obviously because I plan on messaging you, dickmunch." He grabs his bag from under your seat and makes his way to the aisle. "It's turntechGodhead, by the way."_ _ _ _

____And with that, he leaves, and not soon after, when you're waiting for your dad, your phone buzzes._ _ _ _

____ \-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 1:23 -- _ _ _ _

TG: yo man

 

You smile and mark your newest friendship with a certain Dave Strider as a good thing.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=30nb5vr)


	2. Davey's Got a Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well ain't dave just the cutest ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha does anyone even remember this story? warning for memes, and cute adult gays, and stuff of that sort. i did not proof read, sorry.  
> tell me what you think pls. my new tumblr URL is: asexualls, so yes.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:09 --  
TT: Hello there Dave.  
TT: May I ask if there was a particular reason for this impromptu pester?  
TT: As you already are aware, I'm working right now.  
TG: yeah yeah rose save the theatrics its not like youre working hard or anything  
TG: i mean you work for your weird fuckin alien gf after all its not like you have to work for real  
TG: do you guys just like  
TG: make out the whole time and shun your customers in favor for macking on each others weird faces is that what you do  
TG: or maybe like  
TG: violent scissoring in the back room  
TG: rose rose rose rose  
TG: psssst big scary gay lady  
TG: are you going to fucking answer me or what  
TT: I Would Very Much Appreciate If You Drew This To A Close  
TT: After All Rose And I Are Working Thank You  
TG: aww kanaya give the damn phone back to your human lesbian  
TG: i need to talk to her  
TT: She Says  
TT: And I Quote  
TT: Fuck Off Until She Is Free And Able To Talk To You  
TT: She Also Told Me That She Wants You To Go And Shove An Entire Puppet Dick Up Your Ass  
TT: Oh My  
TG: sheesh alright then  
TG: tell the witch to pester me later jfc  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:13 --

You sigh and stand up from your bed, running a hand through your messy hair. It's been about a week since you met John Egbert, that adorably idiotic boy from your university _formally _. You'd seen him around, of course. Now that you've actually met him, you can place his face all over your campus. You can remember seeing him here and there, and you deeply regret not talking to him sooner.__

A part of you refuses to like him like that; you'd promised yourself that you wouldn't fucking get crushes on straight boys anymore.

_But is he really _, a voice in your head whispers to you, tauntingly believable but not enough so that you'd actually give in to your willing hopes. John Egbert just simply does not look like someone who'd willingly do the tongue tango with another dude, and you respect that.__

You digress. No need to weep over a chance you never even had. Really, how pathetic would that be?

Anyway, you had wanted to talk to Rose about getting together for Christmas (it wasn't your idea, Bro had practically demanded you to invite your sister over. You bet that he misses her a lot, even if he won't admit it) but apparently that will have to wait until later, because she's obviously working or some shit and can't contact you until later, whenever later may be. Rose and Kanaya own a book shop in New York, a small place you've really only been in once. It's a nice shop, though, and they own the small building directly upstairs. You feel a bit jealous that they already have things pretty set, and that they're so happy and independent when you're still at Uni suffering over school until you get through with it, but you can't find it in yourself to drop out like she did. 

Rose insists that University simply wasn't the place for her, and that turning her passion into a living would just make it tedious and take away the joy she gets from messing with people's heads. You often like to joke around and call her a sadistic bitch, but she insists that she prefers the term "sardonic" because it makes her sound even bitchier and cynical than she already pretends she is. However, you know Rose is just a big softy.

Pushing thoughts of your strange and eccentric sister from your mind, you wander out of your room and back to the living room, flopping on the ratted folding couch your Bro insists on keeping. He's had it for practically your whole life, and you ponder on maybe getting him a new one for Christmas, but you think that he may be insulted by such a gift. Your Bro is a pretty strange guy, you have to say. Strifes stopped being cool around the time you left for university, and since you got back home for break, he's been trying to antagonize you into fighting nonstop. It's ridiculous. 

Speaking of the devil, Bro walks in not even a minute later, humming along to a song that sounds dangerously close to Lady Gaga's _Poker Face _. Maybe it's that weird irony thing of his. Ha, what a joke. You learned a long time ago that Bro rarely actually does anything out of irony. Most of the time, he genuinely enjoys what he's doing when he claims for it to be just another 'ironic' ploy, and although you want to find that sad (you mean, a forty-year-old still hanging on to the years of his youth? pretty damn sad) but instead, you just feel a sort of gratitude that Bro hasn't changed throughout the years. He could have easily become one of those parents that enters their midlife crisis around the age of fourty-two, but Bro's just too cool for that. He's just _too cool _for a lot of things.____

"Did you talk to Rose?" He asks, feigning indifference, though you know that inside he's probably anticipating your answer. Bro likes to pretend that he doesn't care, but you know him better than that. 

"Nah," you start as he sits down beside you on the couch. "I mean I tried to, but Kanaya took the phone away and said they were working. Really, how busy could it possibly _be _in that little store of theirs? Fuckin' ridiculous, I tell you. Fuckin' ridiculous."__

He bobs his head really quickly in a short nod, and you can easily tell that he's a bit bummed out that you didn't get to ask Rose if she wanted to come over for Christmas. You go and give Bro's shoulder a weird half-fistbump and grin at him. These years you've both become a lot more liberal with showing your emotions, and you have to say that it's pretty sweet . "I'll pounce on her in a bit, champ, don't you worry."

Bro stands suddenly and gives you a look, _the _look, and you sigh, pushing yourself off the couch with him. You doubt there's any way to avoid him this time, Bro's pretty ruthless when it comes to his weird fuckin' strifes. You swear, they used to be hells of cool, but now they're just... not. But hey, you might as well indulge the old guy until he can't do this shit anymore. His youth is fleeting after all.__

__He races you to the roof, and holy _crap _are you out of shape.___ _

You practically pass out after your little sword-fight and retreat to your room like some sort of wounded animal. Your Bro asks you (with a bit of serious concern in his voice) if you're alright. And as you pant and wheeze, you claim that you just lost because it was ironic. Ha. Haha. After a nice shower and a glass of water you laugh about that to yourself, though it's humorless and dry. Did you seriously tell your brother you lost because it was _ironic _? Seriously, that shit hasn't been something you'd actually say seriously in years.  
__

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=htxqu9)

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=o8do2v)

Yeah okay, you're practically cringing yourself to oblivion over here. How did anyone seriously think you were cool in highshool? Jesus fuck, you need to get some air to clear your head, you think your brain cells are starting to shrivel up even THINKING about this.

Right as you're leaving the apartment to get a bit of fresh air (holy shit your calves are BURNING) your phone dings obnoxiously from your pocket, and you fish it out to answer whatever message you got. 

And what do you know. 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:23 --  
EB: hey dave!  
TG: whats up man  
EB: ugh you know, just avoiding my father's cake jamboree and hiding out in my room  
TG: i thought you loved your dad or w/e  
EB: i do! he just goes waaaaay too overboard with all the sweets and stuff.  
EB: i did not know it was possible for one person to make so many darn frosting covered mounds of evil!  
TG: you must really not like cake bro  
TG: i mean if i was you then id be all fucking enthusiastic for that damn cake like oh hell yes look at me dadbert, look at me slather cake all over my porcelain skin  
TG: ill shove my dick in this cake i dont even fucking care  
TG: [http://tinyurl.com/dave<3cake](http://i.imgur.com/FhaqPX1.jpg)  
TG: thats me btw  
EB: oh my god dave why.  
TG: clense me lord  
EB: dave are you some sort of meme loving fuck or something??  
TG: haha what next ;)  
EB: you are seriously not trying to straight boy text me right now are you?  
TG: what bra size ;)))))  
EB: oh god those winky faces are killing me knock it off you dweeb.  
TG: make me loser  
EB: if it is a meme war you want, it is a meme war you'll get!  
EB: [http://tinyurl.com/daveisthisyou?](http://www.contentamp.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/meme7.jpg)  
TG: jesus fuck  
TG: well two can play at that game  
TG: [http://tinyurl.com/johns-a-dick](http://wallpoper.com/images/00/24/73/09/meme-accepted_00247309.jpg)  
EB: dave are you serious? your meme game is TOTALLY weak.  
TG: no you just have a shitty taste in them  
EB: WEEEEEAAAAAK  
TG: what are we doing with ourselves  
TG: were supposed to be adults and look at what we are doing with ourselves  
EB: this is sad.  
TG: agreed  
EB: so we should probably decide to never speak of this again.  
TG: i second that notion  
EB: okay my dad is coming at me with some pies and i think he's about to throw them at me so talk to you later dave, try not to meme yourself into nonexistence or anything.  
TG: ill try egbert ill try  
EB: haha, bye!  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:35 --

  


You shake your head at your phone and tuck it back into your pocket, continuing on your brisk walk through the soft snow that's falling from the sky. You and John have been talking a lot more in the last few days, and you seriously think that he's a rad guy. Two rad guys talking together and becoming rad bro-friends? Rad. But in all seriousness, John's a great dude, and although all of your convos thus far have been really stupid and silly, you're pretty psyched to get to know him better. But not in the gay way. Or not completely in the gay way. Maybe like 50% homo, or maybe 51%. You're a bit indecisive here.

Your full name could probably be Dave Indecisive Fuck Strider and it would make perfect sense.

Woe is you, woe is you. Having 50/51% crushes on total meme-raging dork lords is really tough. It's really tough and no one understands.

You turn back to your apartment just as your phone pings once more.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:48 --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes


End file.
